Day 3:
Today was not as rough as I anticipated it to be. I definitely had my cravings, yet held out.
James has been awesome with handling my hangry attitude... He is even helping me to get more creative in the kitchen. He bought cauliflower for mashed cauliflower for dinner! It is hard when you rely on food to bring comfort and joy. Whoa just typing that makes it real... kind of embaressing to be honest.
We are supposed to look to family, friends, activities, most importantly GOD to find the feeling of joy and comfort. Ridiculous as it may seem for many that I would seek this sensation from something as silly as a food... just think of how happy you are with a delicious large pizza with all your favorite toppings! Perhaps it is a delish Venti Frappacino of your liking... 500 calories... insane amounts of sugar... so indulgent. <--- see definitely a problem.
Many of us build our whole life and day around the food we eat and the emotional state that each meal or snack will ultimately provide us regardless of the fact that it is only a temporary comfort.
Is my food obsession insane? Perhaps... I am just crazy enough to admit it. I am so in love with FOOD. It has replaced some very intimate parts of me... it has reduced my confidence in who I am by allowing me to break down my body for a temporary fix.
Try to recall a time, or photo that you felt truly beautiful. It is funny... you will be suprised to see the image I think of.....
I was 100% healthy, confident, and I felt radiant. I ate healthy for Amira and I, and I only gained what was necessary. I was so proud of that. I actually only weighed 165 lbs by the 9th month of my pregnancy. I currently weigh 185 lbs. I truly am ashamed of what I have done to my body at this point. Certainly time to face the music... and find the beauty within.
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