State of Slim

My life has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs this year.  My poor husband has lost his father, and our family has definitely struggled.  How do we handle such challenges? We pray. We put our heart and faith in God to pull us through.  In all honesty, I also overindulge my emotions in my eating habits. This is not anything I have kept a secret. The stress of change, and loss has taken it's toll on me emotionally.  I have made really poor eating choices. I know where the blame lies. My issue is, I do not know how to pull myself out of this.  I have lost weight before, this is so much more than just weight loss.  I need to change my life, I need to want to change my life.

Let's start for my reasons for changing:

1. My children: I want to give them a positive example of health.
2. Health: I want to "feel" healthy. I lose my breathe bending over, I can't run, I physically hurt to just walk.  I have horrible heartburn and acid reflux.
3. Love myself. I want to love myself. I want to look in the mirror and feel beautiful regardless of my shape. I want to feel beautiful and not ashamed.
4. Live: I want to truly LIVE. I feel like I am just coasting on my emotional eating instead of truly indulging on LIFE not just FOOD.

How?  I have done paleo, low glycemic, calorie counting. All of these work if you stay dedicated.  However, the minute I allow myself a carb or a small amount of over indulgence, I just BINGE.  I cannot stop it seems.  I need to change my way of thinking. I need to refocus my life.